Lingering Interludes
by Capricious Purple Clarity
Summary: Chapter One: FICLET. The Misadventures of Bill and Narcissa.


**Author's Notes: Lingering Interludes is a series of fics and ficlets that randomly connect to my work in progress, Harry Potter and the Forgotten Heirs. This first ficlet, however, can be read as a random stand-alone if you ignore the fact that Narcissa's last name is Black and she just recently had another child. Oh, and she's also separated from Lucius, though not by choice. Ta.**

**DISCLAIMER: I own nothing but a busted computer and pocket lint.**

* * *

_**Lingering Interludes  
**__**Capricious Purple Clarity  
**__**The Misadventures of Bill and Narcissa**_

* * *

Somehow, the knowledge that the same "just call me Cissa, darling" little thief turned out to be Narcissa Black, aristocratic ex-wife of Lucius Malfoy, didn't surprise Bill one bit. His mother had told him stories of the woman as a cautionary tale in his early years.

"Narcissa Black doesn't do anything without a reason," Molly Weasley would warn her children sternly, "but when she finds that reason, she will go to any extent to succeed. Mark my words."

Bill found out why. The hard way.

----------

"_Throw me the Eye!"_

"_Throw me the rope!"_

"_Don't be ridiculous, darling, you can't possibly pull yourself up with the Eye of Ra in your hand. Don't be a bloody ninny -throw me the Eye!"_

"_How do I know you won't run off with it and leave me dangling over a pit of very cheesed off vipers?"_

_Gasp! "Do _I_ look like the sort of woman who would do such a dishonorable thing such as that? How _dare_ you, William!"_

"_Okay, okay! Jeez!" Grunt. "Here... Take it, take it!"_

"_Calm down, darling, I have it. Good work. I knew the moment I set eyes on you that you would be a smart one."_

_Knuckles cramping up... snakes hissing volatilely... "Cissa -the rope!"_

"_Oh, so sorry, darling. Here you are."_

_Something slapping against his knuckles. Deep breath, snapped his hand over and grasped onto the rope. "Okay... Pull me up."_

"_... Pardon me?"_

"_Pull me up, Cissa."_

"_That wasn't part of the deal."_

"_Cissa!"_

"_Well, darling, we made a deal, didn't we? You give me the Eye, I give you the rope; it's a fair trade. Now don't be upset with me, luv, I'm confident that with a little work, you'll be back to safety in no time. Meanwhile, I'm going to be heading off now. Ta, darling!"_

"_Cissa!"_

_Silence._

"_**Cissa**!"_

_---------- _

And that's how Narcissa Black walked off with a priceless magical artifact.

"I want the Eye back, Cissa."

"Okay."

That was easier than expected.

"Small problem."

Damn.

Bill sighed. "How small?"

Narcissa smiled serenely. "Minuscule hiccups really have the most complex solutions."

Bill was afraid to know what she meant by that.

"It's in one of my private vaults."

"So let's go get it now."

"Ah. Therein lies that problem I happened to mention. You remember -the small one?"

Mouthy bint.

"So what's the problem?"

"I lost the key."

Oh, hell. "You what?"

"I lost. The key. Honestly, William, listen up when I'm talking to you, especially since you've been so pushy about it."

"I don't believe this. Cissa! How is this a _small _problem?"

"I didn't say we couldn't _get_ the artifact. I just lost the key. It's merely a minor setback."

"... What?"

"You'll need to help me, of course. That is..." Pretty smile-pretty vicious smile, "unless you don't want it _that_ bad..."

Damn her. "Cissa, I work for Gringott's. I designed some of the upper-level vaults' defenses myself. There's no way we can get that artifact without the key."

"The vault the artifact is in is on the upper-levels. You should know how to disable the defenses you designed yourself, right? See, darling? You're making this sound easier by the minute!"

"Cissa!" She just wasn't _listening_. "We can't steal from Gringott's!"

"I'm not stealing from the bank -I'm retrieving a possession that belongs to me to begin with. I should be able to take what's mine from a vault I pay for, shouldn't I?"

Spirits, she made it sound so... legal...

"I think I hate you, Cissa."

"I don't know why, luv, I'm a genuinely nice person. And at least you can't say I'm boring."

----------

It was quite brilliant, actually. Narcissa happened to own a vault in which a tunnel had been dug from the inside; the vault itself had a sort of emergency escape feature that allowed someone to open the vault from the inside should anyone be locked in. Bill was beginning to suspect the special feature was being terribly abused in this instance.

He was also beginning to suspect that it wasn't the first time Narcissa sneaked into Gringott's utilizing this route.

"Do you steal from Gringott's often, or is this just a new thrill for you?"

"It's not stealing if what I'm taking belongs to me."

"You've said that. After thinking about it, I don't think your theory has a place in the real world."

"Shouldn't you be doing something useful, darling? Like that thing in your job description -curse breaking, was it?"

He was really starting to hate her.

----------

They'd gotten passed the numerous shields, wards, and motion-sensitive hexes without any problem. The one obstacle left before them... was a little trickier.

Warily, "Cissa..."

Calmly, "William."

"That's a dragon."

"... I can see that. What are you going to do about it, William?"

He couldn't have heard that right. "What?"

"What did I say about listening to me when I'm talking to you? I said. What. Are you. Going. To do. About it. William."

"I don't know what to do about the bloody dragon!"

"Figure something out."

This was getting ridiculous. "No!"

Warning, "William."

Silence.

"Don't make me angry. We're not turning back now. Your brother is a dragon handler -surely you must have learned something from him by proxy. _Now take care of the damn dragon, William_."

"... How did you know about Charl–ack!"

"Rowar!"

"Go get him, tiger!"

----------

Fifteen minutes later... It was a miracle he was even alive. Bitingly, he thought that the evil fiend that had gotten him into this mess would have taken the opportunity to run for it while the dragon was busy munching on Weasley bones...

She finally stopped in front of a round iron door with a series of not one, but... twelve key holes.

"I've got it from here," the woman said quietly, bringing out, not her wand, but a small carrying case which held tiny silver instruments.

Lock picks? Narcissa Black knew how to pick _locks_?

"Twelve locks in sixty seconds," Narcissa murmured with a smug smirk. "Couldn't be any easier."

"What if you don't do it in time?" Bill asked, dreading the worst as he leaned heavily against the wall of the corridor, still fatigued from the dragon incident.

"Shh, don't distract me, darling." A moment's pause, and then she got to work, spending scant seconds on one keyhole before there was an audible click and she moved on to the next. With the final click, the heavy door sprung open without resistance.

Narcissa smirked. "32 seconds. Not bad."

"Uh-huh." There was no doubt in his mind that she had done this before. "Out of curiosity -what would have happened if you ran out of time?"

"Do you like running?"

"... Cissa, I just wrestled a dragon."

"Then be happy I did it in record time and stop griping about it. You whine more than Draco when he's throwing a pity party over me ruining his life."

And for a brief moment, Bill could empathize with the fiendish woman's son.

When Narcissa opened the large iron door and ducked inside, Bill made sure to stay outside of the vault as he peered in cautiously. Going by Cissa's record so far, Bill wouldn't doubt that she would be evil enough to shut him inside the vault and leave him there.

When he saw the object she was removing from the single pedestal -an object that was clearly _not_ the Eye of Ra- he frowned. "That's not it."

She made as if to do a double-take, inspecting the jewel-encrusted vanity mirror curiously. "It's not?"

"You know damn well it's not."

"Oh, dear," she murmured coyly, peering at him through lowered lashes. "I seem to have gotten my vaults mixed up. The Eye of Ra happens to be in a different vault."

"Cissa! We broke into the wrong vault?"

"Oh, but don't worry, darling! See, I happen to have the key to the vault the Eye of Ra is in right here." She reached into her pocket and drew out a tiny silver key with a smirk on her face. "Here you are. All yours."

"Thank the..." Wait... Wait a moment...

Innocently, "Something the matter, dear?"

"You... you set this up."

"But of course I did! Darling, what would _I_ want with some silly Eye of Ra? I just needed you to help me get into this vault." Another pretty smile, poisonous smile... "You did such a wonderful job, darling. Well done."

"What are you babbling about? You don't honestly think you can get away with this!"

"Oh, don't be like that, William," Narcissa said with a disappointed sigh. "You don't honestly think there won't be an repercussions if you go to the goblins now and tell them what happened. You'll be fired and imprisoned alongside me; and, to be fair, with the blackmail I have on the Wizengamot, they'll accept my 'it's my vault and I can break into it if I want to' defense. You, on the other hand, will be out of a job."

"..."

Catty smirk. "Now let's go back the way we came, shall we? Then we can kip into Gringott's the legal way, and the Eye of Ra will be all yours. We can both walk away from this with clean consciences."

... Evil fiend.

----------

Late that evening, Lucius Malfoy suddenly became aware of a niggling urge to check his drawers. When he finally gave into that urge, he found his Fated Mirror aglow with magic.

Lucius grinned ruefully. Ciss must have had found a way to access the twin mirror in that vault she lost the key to.

He looked into the mirror but, instead of seeing his reflection, saw two perplexing words. _How's Ladarius_?

The man frowned, leaning back in his leather chair in contemplation. Ladarius had been the name of the great-uncle that had raised him the majority of his life. The man had been dead for over twenty years; Narcissa was well-aware of that fact.

His eyes widened when a memory came to him. He'd wanted to name Draco after his great-uncle, but Narcissa insisted that for ten and a half hours of labor pain, their firstborn was going to have a name a damn sight more embarrassing to live up to than Ladarius. She swore she'd allow Lucius to name their next child before later informing her husband that, as far as she was concerned, there wasn't going to _be_ "another one."

Could that possibly mean...?

Hesitantly, he whispered against the mirror's glass, "Ladarius is fine."

A short pause, and his wife sent back, _He has your nose... Poor little sod._

Lucius fell back in his chair again, stunned.

He had another son.

_**END FICLET**_


End file.
